Since being diagnosed with cancer I’ve been trying to figure out how to address my life. Initially my thinking was; “I should do something NOW!” I’ll just declare retirement and sit at home and plan trips and ways to spend my money and time with loved ones enjoying life. I could probably do that for 4 or 5 years… what if I live longer than that? Then what?
So when I first was diagnosed one of the first things I did was seek solace in others dealing with cancer. I posted to Reddit and became a member of the subreddit r/ProstateCancer and posted my situation. The community was very welcoming and informative. It’s the club men are joining that no one wants to be a member of. Since then I’ve logged in from time to time to hear people’s responses and read others situations and how they’re dealing with them. One thing you determine quickly is there is such a mixed bag of situations and everyone’s Prostate Cancer is different.
Also I tried to find a local Prostate Cancer Support Group. I really haven’t found anything within my area specific to Prostate Cancer yet. But I ended up reaching out to Gilda’s Club which is a great organization here in South Florida. I had volunteered for them some ten years back as part of a corporate sponsored charity event. I easily created a login and I signed up for their orientation that coming Monday.
In the orientation I was there with my wife and three individuals from Gilda’s club. They provided a nice thirty minute presentation of the different programs they offer. Then after the presentation one of the senior counselors asked me. “What do you want to do now that you have cancer?” And there it was the question again that I didn’t know how to answer. Holding back tears I said something to the effect of; “I don’t know… I love my job, my work?… and then I said spend as much time with the people I love.”
A few days later I was waiting in the parking lot waiting for my wife to come out of the store. I decided to discuss my predicament with someone who could provide me some insight, my niece. My niece is in her own struggle with cancer and at the time I called she had resumed her life with her family. She answered the phone after a couple of rings and said “Hi Uncle, I’ve been meaning to call you.” I asked her, “How did you cope? With the surgery and the cancer. ” I won’t go into any detail on her situation as it’s hers to own and share, but her response was pretty straight forward. She said she treated them like hurdles. Every time she needed surgery or chemotherapy or radiation she just looked at it as the next hurdle she needed to jump over. Until there were no more hurdles. Now she’s in remission and living her life. We gave our love and hung up. I can’t tell you how important that call was for me. In the end I think I realized why does my life have to change now? The RALP surgery is just hurdle (#1). It’s just that simple… clear the hurdle and move on.
I now focus on my cancer obstacles this way. I also realize that there may come a time where I might be facing more hurdles than expected in a short period of time. Where they may be altering the course of my life drastically. When will this happen? My wife and I pray it will be a long time from now. But we’ve decided that lifting and shifting our life plan now just doesn’t make sense. For now we are going to take it one year at a time, a 1 year plan. And our first plan (#1) is nothing changes. I continue to work and support my family. Next year this same time we see how many hurdles I’ve had to clear and then we’ll decide what our next 1 year plan will be.
Goals… these have always existed for me they’ve just changed… First goal (#1) making a difference to someone else. Raising awareness by getting involved with others. Researching and documenting what I’ve learned starting with this blog.
I have two sons and the unfortunate reality is there is an increased risk of Prostate Cancer for first generation offspring who are diagnosed. I’ve always wanted to provide a legacy to my children but this was never ever ever the one I wanted to bestow on either one of my two sons. Please God don’t let them have to deal with this.
And then of course my other goal (#2) and that is I’m still talking about Prostate Cancer when I’m 87.
